Not So Great Expectations

Here's what I would like to accomplish this year:

1. Reach my ideal weight in a healthly way by the time my wedding day arrives. This doesn't mean I want to start exercising...I know that goal would be unrealistic. I just want to eat less fast food and lose a few extra pounds...by October.

2. Spend more time writing.

3. Pay off a significant amount of my credit card debt.

I'm keeping it simple this year because I don't want to disappoint myself. In 2004 I accomplished quite a bit: I managed to graduate college, find a good paying job, and move into a beautiful 2 bedroom apartment.

The winter of my discontent

I've been off work since Xmas eve, and I'm starting to get bored. I probably would have enjoyed this time off much more if I was getting paid...instead I'm left to sit and home and keep myself from spending the money that I seriously don't have.

I've ending up spending hours playing my life as a Sim. In the last few days, I've moved into a quaint house with my fiance's Sim, and we've had a baby named Sebastien. A few hours ago he became a toddler. Sometimes my Sim is a bad mother...she likes to place the baby on the floor and go off to read. This game is quite realistic.

I see you shiver with anticipation

Yesterday I saw the movie Darkness...regrettably. It was a poorly constructed film that gave horror movies a bad name--and that's pretty hard to do. I don't know why I thought it would be good, but I was in the mood for a good scare.

It would have been an utter waste of time if not for the trailer for the upcoming film SIN CITY.



This movie looks amazing! I highly recommend that everyone catches the trailer for this graphic novel adaptation. It is visually stunning from what I can see, and there are tons of great actors in the cast. Bruce Willis, Benicio Del Toro, Josh Hartnet, and Clive Owen, just to name a few sexy men I look forward to seeing. The movie looks like a comic book coming to life, with primarily black and white scenery interjected with color on certain characters--mostly on the female characters. For example, one girl has bright blue eyes and another red lips.

I'm not familiar with the Sin City story, but I am eagerly awaiting the release of this movie. Even if the plot is horrible, it is sure to be visually appealing.

Other films I can't wait to see:

White Noise (I love Michael Keaton, and this movie HAS to be scary!)
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (I'm hoping to re-read the book before it comes out)

One more time

Oscar Wilde: The Portrait of Dorian Gray. You are a
horror novel from the world of dandies, rich
pretty boys, art and aesthetics, and
intellectual debates between ethical people and
decadent pleasure-seekers. You value beauty and
pleasure but realize their dangers, as well.


Which literature classic are you?
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Pop quiz, hot shot

You are the insatiable Lady Chatterley from Lady
Chatterley's Lover by D.H. Lawrence. Tired of
the typical female awakenings in literature,
you are ready for a sexual awakening! If you
can't be independent and free in your world,
you'll settle for multiple orgasms.


Which Heroine of Classic Literature are you?
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Ok, this quiz thing is addicting...

Call Me Veruca Salt

Last night I was chatting with two of my girlfriends over a bottle of wine, and we were remembering our first impressions of each other. I told my friend that when I first met her, I thought she was sweet, but somewhat annoying. After we met, I remember telling people, "P is a nice girl, but I can only stand her for 15 minutes at a time."

She replied that when she met me, she thought I was a snob. This response intrigued me, and I started to see myself in a new light. I have never considered myself a snob; actually, I see myself as the outcast who has been shunned by the snobs, and has subsequently taken on a cynical and anti-social persona.

This might sound strange, but I'm so glad that she perceived me as a snob! I took it as a compliment because I never thought that I had enough confidence to exude that type of attitude. I love finding out what people think of me before they know me; it really lets me see myself from a new perspective.

On that note, this was my horoscope today:

"Self-examination is revealing. But don't let it turn into narcissism."

Oh well, what's wrong with a little narcissism every once and a while.

PS. I've made quite a few Willy Wonka references lately, but it's one of my favorite movies of all time, and perhaps I am subconsciously rebelling against the new Tim Burton version. I mean, I love Tim Burton and Johnny Depp, and I will definitely go see the film, but part of me is thinking "If it isn't broken...."

No one could ever compete with Gene Wilder, and how dare they try!

It only leads to trouble, and...seat wetting.

I saw Blade: Trinity this week.



I was a big fan of the first Blade film (mostly because the thought of Stephen Dorff biting on my neck is so hot!). I didn't really like the 2nd one, but I still had to go see the last film of the series because I felt it would give me closure.

The movie turned out to be OK-- I would have to say that I enjoyed it more than I expected to. I had no idea who Ryan Reynolds was--he is fucking HILARIOUS in this movie. If it weren't for his character, the movie would have sucked ass. When he wasn't making me laugh, he was making me drool. What a body! I want to do naughty things to this man--strike that, reverse it.

The Island of Misfit Toys

Ok, so I've watched Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer twice this season. Every year I watch it at least three times during the holidays because I love Christmas movies. But there's one thing I can't figure out about the misfit toys:

What the fuck is wrong with the little girl doll? She looks totally normal to me--so why the fuck is she on the island of misfit toys?

Anyways, tomorrow I have to finish my Christmas shopping, and I'm not as excited about it as usual--for two reasons.

1) My budget is almost non-existent. I usually splurge on gifts, and this year I'm totally broke.
2) I am having a hard time deciding what to buy. Usually by this time I have the perfect gift figured out for everyone, and this year I'm completely clueless. The few times I have gone window shopping, nothing has appealed to me.

Hopefully I will wake up tomorrow with new inspiration and my shopping will be done in a few hours.

Lion VS Lamb

I wouldn't say that Zodiac signs are my religion, but I do enjoy reading my horoscope from time to time. I also like to read about zodiac personalities, not because I think that my sign dictates who I am, but because it seems to facilitate the urge to explore and describe one's personality, at least in comparison to what is supposedly written in the stars. I've come to the conclusion that we all read our horoscopes because it gives us a chance to contemplate and talk about ourselves.

Having said that, I am a Leo. I've always identified to some degree with the typical characteristics of leo.

"Leonine qualities include affectionate warmth, an outgoing nature, an imperial bearing, aggressive self-expression, and generosity of spirit."

But there has always been one aspect of being a leo that I just didn't match: being outgoing. Deep down I feel myself wanting to be outgoing, but in reality I am painfully shy and anxious when it comes to social situations. I've definitely become more introverted as I've gotten older. Internally, I want to be the life of the party--the center of attention, but I'm so neurotic and full of self-doubt that most people never see that side of me.

It's like I am made up of two opposing personalities, which I was thinking a few nights ago when I was reminded of what my name means. My real name (which isn't Daria) actually means "Like a Lamb."

I am both a lion and a lamb. What a dichotomy! (Ok, to be honest, I'm not sure if that's the correct word, but I'm gonna go with it) Perhaps my life is turning out to be a battle of wills, the lion VS the lamb. So far I would say the lamb is winning, but I'm going to root for the lion. My goal is to become king of the jungle!

I'm not saying that I believe I was destined to have this personality because I was born in August and named what I was; this metaphorical description just happens to be accurate! (Although Madonna is a leo, and I wouldn't mind being aligned with her bold character)

The suspense is terrible...I hope it'll last.

I'm not myself today. I just applied for a job as a cocktail server at a gentleman's club, which is something I never thought I would do. I don't have anything against this type of job, I just never saw myself as being cute and perky enough to do it.

Ever since I received the email describing this position, I couldn't get it out of my head. Not only does this job pay twice the hourly wage that I'm making now, it also gives me a $500 monthly clothing allowance!

So as I laughed off the email asking for sorority co-eds and hot stay-at-home moms, I started to think, "Why couldn't I do this job?" It sounds fun, I like to dress up, some people find me attractive, and I really could use the money.

I'm proud of myself for applying, even if I don't get a response. For me this was a gutsy step forward. I even emailed some of my cute, and dare I say provocative halloween photos with the application.

Star light, star bright

I tried to sit down and write a short story last night, and all I could come up with was a paragraph character sketch of a girl named Lucy. I've worked on her description off and on for quite a while, but I can't seem to get past that point. I just don't have any discipline now that I'm not in school. I am the type of person who can't get things down unless I'm under the pressure of a deadline. The motivation is there, but not the discipline. What's wrong with me!

Well, here's what I have so far:

Lucy was the sun. When people looked at her, she burned red with awkward self awareness. Beneath the eye contact she felt like an orange without a peel, her juicy parts naked to the elements.

She wanted to be the moon, so that when people looked she would glow with grace and feel like a daffodil caught in a breeze.

As the sun she shoulders the galaxy, boiling under the constant glare of the planets.

I wrote more, but I'm starting to hate it. Reading it now, it seems like a disjointed, clumsy metaphor with some poor word choices. Hopefully it manages to give some idea of who this character is, or what she feels.

Female seeking Male without Playstation

I really don't understand guys and video games.

I was very excited when Nintendo came out. I think I was like 6 years old. I enjoyed playing video games quite frequently, but I also liked to read and write. And because I had a brother almost the same age as I was, I mostly got stuck watching him play games while I waited for a turn that never came. I sat through entire games knowing everything about them without ever playing them. Games like Zelda, Metroid, and Mega Man seem very familiar to me because I watched my brother play them for hours and hours.

But at some point in my life, let's say around age 17, I grew out of that whole video game thing. I don't enjoy playing or watching them anymore; it just seems like a waste of time. A game or two of solitaire will keep me busy on the computer, but even then I can't play for more than ten minutes. I'd rather read a book or even watch television, although I think TV can be waste of time too. My brother on the other hand, still buys every system and every video game that is created. My fiance also likes to play video games, although he sticks with one or two for the season that he enjoys. If he doesn't get enough playing time in for the week, he actually feels guilty! Right now he's playing the new Grand Theft Auto, and I left the room because I just couldn't listen to that stupid game while I was decorating the apartment for Xmas.

As I've come to the realize that men of this generation will possibly NEVER grow out of video games, it makes me sad and resentful.

Nobody puts Baby in the corner.

Tonight as I was driving home I was remembering all my first movie star/celebrity crushes. It was fun, and I would like to share. These are the first guys that I remember fantasizing about when I was really young (in no particular order).

The lead singer of A-HA in the music video "Take On Me"...sigh

Patrick Swayze in Dirty Dancing

Christian Slater

Zach Morris on Saved by the Bell (yes, I know that's not his name)

Luke Perry from BH 90210

It's your husband's life or your case of Wonka bars!

If I want a part time job so I can make extra cash, should I consider selling Mary Kay? I like the products, and on the surface it seems like an easy way to make money and maintain a flexible schedule. But sales jobs can be so mentally damaging. I just don't know if I have the energy to manifest the attitude that it requires.

I can already picture my family and friends rolling their eyes...

I don't think I want to be one of those annoying sales people making the equivalent of telemarketing calls as I fish for customers.

The only positive side I can think of is that I love makeup, so it would be easier to get excited about selling these products then, oh let's say, $800 sets of kitchen knives...which I have actually done.

Material Girl

Today there are a few things on my mind.

1) I am a compulsive shopper. Shopping brings me joy, which I guess makes me a materialistic soul. Oh well. I simply can't deny the excitement I get when my credit card gets swiped and the goods exchange hands. There's just so many fabulous gadgets to buy and outfits to wear, and I want them all. If I had the money, I would go shopping every single day of my life and never wear the same piece of apparel twice. With that in my, you should click on these links and help me reach my goal of full time shopping: NBA basketball Betting
& Basketball Betting.

2) My blog hasn't turned out as sarcastic as I imagined. To those who know me, I can be very sarcastic and critical of society. I'm known for my harsh movie reviews and disdain for pop culture, and for having the elitist attitude that my opinions are always right. But I've come to realize that some of my interests may seem hypocritical. I'm a walking contradiction (I apologize for the use of that cliche). I feel strongly about the things I hate, such as Britney Spears and Survivor. I also feel strongly for the guilty pleasures I love to indulge in, such as Temptation Island (season 1), fashion, and ABBA. And as it turns out, when it's time to write in my blog all I want to write the majority of the time are the things that I love!

So yes, I might write a bitterly annoyed post every once in a while, but the rest of the time I will allow myself to be more than just a caricature of Daria who posts sarcasm just for the sake of looking consistent. I haven't done that so far, but I was seriously considering it.

3) In my last post, I referred to myself briefly as a slut. I would like to clarify that usage, as it may have been a poor word choice. First of all, I don't like the negative connotations of the word. When someone calls a woman a slut in a derogatory way, I usually cringe. Let's say that "slut" refers to a women who sleeps with multiple partners. She's easy. Who cares? If I was single, then I guess I would be a slut. I like sex, and I really like men, and I know how to be safe. I can fuck as many guys as I want, and I don't think that doing so violates my moral beliefs.

Secondly, in my last post when I called myself a slut, I was using the term endearingly. I was referring to the fact that my fiance doesn't really know the extend of what turns me on in my fantasy world. And in my fantasy world, I am a slut, and it's very fun.

Ok...Glad I could get those things off my chest.