Lovage: Music to Make Love to Your Old Lady By

I am in love with this album. Here are the lyrics to the best two songs:

Book of the Month

You and me are the disease and the germs are spreading
Use me like listerine, keeping your breath fresher
Feel the stroke of your paintbrush, my blank sheet of paper
I'm your book of the month, read the fine print later

We'll invent new four letter words
You are the bitter, I am the sweet
Run through the fields, sing with the birds
You are the griddle, I am the meat

I'll turn you on like the electric company
You are the bitter, I am the sweet
Flick on the switch and light your pilot light
You are the griddle, I am the meat

We'll laugh away our golden years
You are the bitter, I am the sweet
We'll line the clouds with silver tears
You are the griddle, I am the meat

You are the bitter, I am the sweet
You are the griddle, I am the meat
You are the trick, I am the treat
You are the circus, I am the freak

Stroker Ace

Monsieur Dan
Can I come with you
As you both look awfully kind

Sadly he and me are through
Let me tell you what i've got in mind
I'll sing to you my mewing charm
Looks like you both could use a pet
And purr my purr all night long
I think a pussy's your best bet

Stroke that shiny coat
Stroking is the antidote
Stroke that, it's a start
Only for the wild at heart
Stroke that shiny coat
Stroking is the antidote
Stroke that shiny coat
Stoking's what it's all about

My tail alone could tell you tales
It's got a life all of its own
Watch it move just like a sail
Sail you to the twilight zone
I love to lap a spot cream
And i assure you that i'm neat
But you never know what you can expect
When the pussy is in heat

I like to watch, if you don't mind
Every sphinx knows how to pass the time
Your little love nest suits me well
Let me show you how to cast a spell

Dancing Queen

For some reason when my girlfriends and I go out dancing, we always meet really nice guys--the kind we might actually date if we weren't all in serious relationships.

Don't get me wrong, we get hit on by all kinds of men, including those who are just looking to get laid or grind inappropriately on the dance floor.

But by the end of the night, we always end up meeting and hanging out with very sweet guys who don't mind that we are taken. We always let them know fairly soon that we have boyfriends, and I usually throw in the obligatory, "Feel free to ditch us for someone you might actually have a chance with," line.

I have come to the conclusion that these gentlemen stick around because either A)they hope that they still have a chance with us by wearing us down with their charms, or B)not all guys go to dance clubs to hook up like dogs!!

Take Friday night for instance. I ended up at a 70's/80's dance club with four of my friends, and we spent the whole night with two guys from the east coast. One of them, Scott, told me he was from Maine and had lived in SoCal for three years. He looked like a cute surfer boy to me, and he was a very polite dance partner. When Abba's Dancing Queen starting playing, he even took me out onto the floor and swirled me around as if I was one...it was fun.

His friend, whose name I never caught, was equally polite and sweet. He kept telling the three of us that we were "soooo cute" and that he wished we were single. Nonetheless, he stuck around for hours as well. At the end of the night he kept giving us hugs-- and I'm talking about innocent hugs, not anything perverted or sexual. My friend even gave him her business card so that they could email us if they wanted to go dancing again sometime. It was like meeting some new gay friends...only they weren't gay. It left the three of us sighing with contentment. There are great guys out there! If were we single, it might not be all bad.

What amazes me is that this is not the only time it has happened. Almost everytime we go out, my friends and I end up hanging out with guys who are genuine and polite. Now that I think about it, most of them are originally from out of state....hmmm.

your love can't pay my bills

I haven't had much time to write lately because I've started my new job, and oh yeah, my home computer crashed. Being neurotic is mentally exhausting, particularly when entering new social situations such as an unfamiliar workplace. I constantly doubt my thoughts, actions, and every little human interaction of the day, until I can get in my car and drive home for 90 minutes. During the commute I proceed to over-analyze and regret several things that occured. I arrive home in a dispicable mood, which does not bode well for my affectionate fiance. Hopefully I will get past this initial phase in the next week or so and become comfortable with my new job. I wish my colleagues were a bit more friendly...but I can get over that. It's better not to be distracted with friendships at work anyways because it always leads to awkward conflicts.

I recently found out that my half sister is going to be coming into an extremely large amount of money. Her boyfriend is part of a court case that involves a multi-million dollar settlement, and they will have the money and be married by the end of the year. I am very happy for her, but worried too. I hope her boyfriend doesn't abandon her once he receives his money; and I hope that once they both get it they won't fall back into their old drug habits (they met in rehab). All bad thoughts aside, I am truly happy for her. Her life has been filled with poverty and sorrow, and she deserves some relief. I must admit that it is strange to know that a family member is going to be so well off...I'm not close to her, and I can't help but wonder if things would be different if I was. If that makes me a bad person, oh well. I'm only being honest, and I guess my mind is always wondering about what it would be like to have money.