Books I Love

These are novels that I wish I could read again for the first time.

The Blind Assassin
By Margaret Atwood
~Impressive complexity, brilliant storytelling.

The Ultimate HitchHiker's Guide
By Douglas Adams
~The only book that ever made me laugh out loud.

The Mists of Avalon
By Marion Zimmer Bradley
~I already loved Arthurian Novels, so this story gave new perspective on a subject that I loved. I felt connected to the characters, and it was the first time that I could relate to any form of spirituality. This is a great novel for feminists.

Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West
By Gregory Maguire
~Another retelling of a story that I already loved. Maguire does a great job weaving the mythology of OZ with a fresh perspective on the story.

The "Sleeping Beauty" Trilogy
By Anne Rice writing as A.N. Roquelaure
~My first experience with erotica; I was hooked from the first chapter.

Jane Eyre
By Charlotte Bronte

Wuthering Heights
By Emily Bronte

The Awakening
By Kate Chopin

The Stranger
by Albert Camus

I love the movies again

I finally saw the movie Garden State in its entirety, and it was really great. Especially considering that it was written AND directed by Zach Braff. This first film of his is very impressive. I mostly loved the soundtrack; it was emotionally stirring. This movie really portrayed what it feels like to go back to your home town—the sadness that you feel towards the loss of your childhood, as well as the sadness of seeing those who you went to school with that never got out of that town, and probably never will. Overall I would say that the creativity of this movie was refreshing. It was nice not to sit through the same clichéd crap that I’ve been used to lately.

On that note, my favorite movie of the year is out on DVD today; Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. I can’t wait to watch it again! This film was truly original and thought-provoking. It was a realistic love story that spoke to those of us who have endured long term relationships and ever doubted whether or not it was worth it stay in a relationship knowing all of its faults.

My job is sucking the life out of me

I can't do it anymore! I can't squeeze one more meaningless sentence of marketing text out of my brain! Words no longer make sense to me. I'm losing my ability to express myself on the page. In my emails to friends it sounds like I'm trying to sell them something. I am tired of discovering how many ways the same exact sentence can be written. Thank God it's Friday....all that comes to my mind is a cliche, what's happening to me?

Sad State

I hadn’t been to the movies for weeks—primarily because the early summer movies had left me so disillusioned that even the mention of going to the movie theater left me with a bad taste in my mouth. I had given up on modern cinema until I saw the preview for Garden State. It looked promising; unfortunately, the Santa Clarita Valley theaters didn’t even start showing the movie until the third week of September. After much anticipation, I bought tickets on Sunday afternoon.

As I entered the dark theater, I felt both optimistic and nervous. Would I have to endure another two hours of utter disappointment and disgust? Or would my faith in creative film making be renewed?

Things started out great. I was enjoying the tone, music, acting, dialogue—GONE. The film strip burned up and ripped apart right in front of our eyes on the giant screen.

As I left the theater with my refund, realizing that it was Santa Clarita’s only copy of the film, wondering if they would even bother to get another, I can’t fully describe my sadness. Will I ever recover from my despair and disillusionment? To be continued…

I think my parents are sleeping together

My parents got divorced right after I graduated high school. My mom, not having anyone to talk to, had often told me of their intimacy problems, so this wasn't too much of a surprise to me, but it was still difficult. She is thirteen years younger than him, so right about the time she reached her peak of sexuality, he was on a sharp decline. My mom met another man about a year later and stayed with him for four years. They were one of those couples that broke up every 8 months or so, only to get back together out of co-dependency and dysfunctional attraction. My mom and her BF got engaged this year (one month before I did), but they had another breakup last month. This one seems permanent, but so did the last two.

Since the break-up, my mom has been spending weekends at my dad’s house (which isn’t that weird, because they’ve been platonic friends ever since the divorce; in between her last break-up period she even moved into his guest bedroom to save $). I’ve always assumed, and she’s always reminded me, that my parents are nothing more than “companions.” They are great friends (or as she calls it “soul mates”) who could never resume a romantic relationship because he is physically incapable of doing so for whatever reasons (health, age, stress, psychology, etc). In fact, after spending her post-break-up weekends with my dad, my mom just had a talk with me two days ago letting me know that nothing other than friendship was going on. I was cool with that, even though I knew that my dad probably wanted more.

Here’s what I’ve been expecting since then: either my mom would get back together with her BF, or she would meet someone else. Either way, I knew that my parents would always be good friends and nothing more. A lot of people can’t understand their relationship, including my fiancé, whose divorced parents don’t even speak. I might have found it strange at first, but after five years of my mom’s relationship drama, I’ve gotten used to her closeness with my dad in their own platonic way.

So today my mom reveals something. Two days after her “your-dad-and-I-are-only-friends” talk, she hesitantly tells me, “You know what I said about your dad—about a romantic relationship never happening—well I was wrong.” She got embarrassed after that and told me to forget about it. That’s the funny thing about my mom; just when I think that nothing could surprise me, something does. I wasn’t shocked, and I didn’t really believe that my dad was incapable of certain things—I just honestly thought that she would never be attracted to him again. And now I get the feeling that my parents are headed towards getting back together. I guess it doesn’t surprise me that much, and it still might not happen. But to my great surprise, my parents are sleeping together.

You might think it’s odd that I can write this without being disgusted, but I’ve been hearing about the details of their relationship for years. When they were having problems, I was their therapist. And it doesn’t really bother me. I see them as parents, and also as people. It will be interesting to see what happens from this point on. Now I can honestly say that nothing would surprise me.

I’ve been following the saga of the LA County Seal lately, and I’m so fed up with this type of political nonsense. Just because the ACLU is threatening to sue the county over a ridiculous matter like a small cross on our county seal, council members in LA have voted to spend over $800,000 to change the seal. Now, I’m not religious, but HELLO—this county is called “Los Angeles.” It was founded by Spanish christian missionaries. The tiny cross on the seal is entirely HISTORICAL. What’s next, they decide that the names of our cities like LA and Santa Monica, and Sacramento, and San Diego are offensive too because they make religious references??? Why should we spend the money to change the seal because it offends some idiotic organization? This is how stupid the situation has gotten: they also plan to remove the representation of oil and the goddess Pomona. Are you fucking kidding me? I can understand that if a courthouse has the ten commandments listed above the doorway, that it is crossing the line into promoting a religion and it should be removed. I’m a reasonable person, but this whole situation is just a waste of time. And the new seal is just as politically incorrect, if not more:

"The new proposed seal is a waste of time, money and more importantly, depicts a barefoot, subservient Native American which is an insult to all people of color. It is A SLAP in the face of the Native American Culture and Historical contributions of the Missions of California", said David R. Hernandez.

So anyways, there’s going to be a petition to make these moronic politicians leave the Los Angeles County seal alone, or at least let the people vote on it. I plan to sign it. And by the way, if the ACLU does sue the county, chances are we will win, and it won’t cost a cent. Lawyers are already offering to argue the case for free. Why should we pay to change the seal when every month emergency rooms and hospitals are being closed in southern California? It’s insane.



I usually avoid discussing politics—not because I don’t have an opinion or aren’t informed—but because I usually get discouraged with other people’s partisan views. I’m not republican or democrat, and I think that both parties are too narrow-minded to get things right. Blanket labels like conservative and liberal are just stupid; everything depends on the situation. For the most part, I guess I would say that I’m conservative when it comes to economics; I think that capitalism is effective for those who believe in personal responsibility. That’s not to ignore the fact that racism, classism, and sexism DOES exist in society and gives some people unfair social obstacles. But I hate the victim mentality. As a society, we should work towards equality and fairness; but as individuals, we shouldn’t blame society for our lot in life. I have compassion for those who grow up with less opportunities than others, but I also truly believe that there are some opportunities for everyone if they work hard enough. I’m liberal when it comes to social issues. The government shouldn’t take away my right to choose or tell me who to marry.

As far as the election, I’m not a die-hard Bush hater like some people, but I won’t vote for him for several reasons—no woman should.

If he stays in office, there’s a very good chance that Roe VS Wade will be overturned and we will lose our right to choose.
I hate that he tried to pass a federal ban on gay marriage. As far as I’m concerned, homosexuals in this country are facing horrible civil rights violations and we should all be marching in the streets to support them.
Bush wants to grant all illegal immigrants in California BLANKET amnesty. This is why our hospitals are crowded and being closed down. This is why I sit in hours of traffic every week. This is why Al-Qaeda is getting into the country. Because both republicans and democrats refuse to protect our borders. I really wouldn’t care that so many people from Mexico were crossing the border, except that our economy in California can’t handle it. And by the way, if I traveled to France, I would assume that it was my responsibility to learn French. That seems to be common sense to me. Sorry if that seems politically incorrect.
While I can’t say that I think Saddam should be back in power, I don’t think it’s our job to “police” and “save” every crappy country around the world. It’s not our fault that the ungrateful Iraqi’s couldn’t save themselves and overthrow a dictator. Even now, they can’t come together and get their country running properly. We should have left them alone so they could eventually help themselves. Those soldiers dying over there are just kids, and that breaks my heart.
Bush has done nothing to stop terrorism. It was true before 9-11 and it’s true now. I think in some ways he ignored the warning signs because he knew that a terrorist attack would help his presidency and give him more power.

That’s why I can’t vote for Bush—because in every issue that’s important to me, including illegal immigration, which you’d think as a republican he’d act differently on—I disagree with him. If he gets elected, the crazy right-wing conservative nut jobs will have control over the entire country. Kerry seems drab, but much less harmless. And for the record, Michael Moore is an idiot. I saw his film and it should not be called a documentary. It was political propaganda, and it only looked at one side of the issue. Things aren’t that simple, and I felt that the way he addressed people in his narration was condescending and arrogant. In my opinion Moore is a liberal Rush Limbaugh (whom I also despise). My views closely resemble the attitude of KFI's John & Ken--it's a great talk-radio show.

The First Poem I Wrote in College

Xanadu

At last the stubborn
blaze of daylight
concedes to the moon. Beneath stars we
dance like devilish
elves through
forbidden realms. With eyes of
glass we laugh and lean,
holding potions that make us warm
inside. We forget ourselves
just for a while,
kissing recklessly the surge of impulses through
limber souls.
Moments loop and whirl away into
nothing remembered but
one sanguine haze.
Pleasure
quietly obscures
reason as
salacious fancy
tumbles
under
velour.
We romp through the fields of
Xanadu
yearning to reach the
zenith of relief from yesterday and tomorrow.

Feminist Poem

The Vagina Villanelle

The whole world is against me!
I am neither fish nor flower.
I am splendid complexity.

Stop trying to drown me
With products that overpower.
The whole world is against me.

Have you ever looked at me?
To discover is to empower.
I am splendid complexity.

Are you embarrassed by me?
I refuse to cower.
The whole world is against me.

If you have one you’re lucky—
Twice the purpose, twice the power.
I am splendid complexity.

You cannot invade me—
I devour.
The whole world is against me;
I am splendid complexity.

~R.H.

Loophole

The amount of
tar and nicotine
in this product
varies depending on
how you smoke it.

~My Found Poem

Nip/Tuck Superfan

Nip/Tuck is the greatest show EVER.

Yes, I am cynical, sarcastic, critical of pop culture, and sometimes just plain bitter. But I’m also a walking contradiction who loves shows that proudly embrace the cultural disintegration of society with gratuitous sex, drama, and dysfunction. We all have our junk food weaknesses, and mine is television. I was a die-hard 90210 Fan, I watched Melrose Place from beginning to end, and, even though I’m not the biggest reality television show enthusiast, I loved Temptation Island (season 1).

But Nip/Tuck has surpassed them all. Last night I was so excited over the alternate reality of Julia, that I could hardly contain myself! The thing about this show is that it’s not just mindless melodrama like Melrose Place was; Nip/Tuck has REAL emotion and interesting psychological implications, along with the over-the-top sex and surgeries. The dialogue is amazing. It’s the most creative show I’ve ever seen on TV.

I left my money in San Francisco

Highlights of My SF Trip:

~ Ordering crab legs at Neptune’s Palace on Fisherman’s Wharf—When he brought our orders, the waiter actually tied a bib around my neck. And I’m not talking a sophisticated cloth bib, I’m talking a huge, plastic bib with a giant smiling crab on it. So much for civilized dining. It was hilarious. Also, we ate overlooking the bay, so it was amazing. I could see the lighthouse on Alcatraz directly in front of me, and I could hear the hundreds of seals below our window. The bloody mary I ordered actually had two Cajun flavored shrimp hanging from my class…it brought a tear to my eye. Perfect night.

~Entering FairyLand (This is not a gay reference, although there were plenty of hot gay men there too)—On the pier I entered a shop called Fairyland, where they offer you fairy dust when you walk through the door! It was a great shop with tons of art and collectibles from Amy Brown and more artists. I found my zodiac fairy, the fiery LEO.

~Getting happily dupped at La Rosa—Haight Ashbury shopping was great. Lots of smoke shops and vintage antique stores, or high-priced thrift stores as I like to think of them. I went to the dim and fabulous La Rosa, and purchased two unique brooches for a total of $80, which I’m sure was not worth it. It’s not like I thought I was buying valuable antiques, but then again I knew they were unique and I hate to haggle. Antique stores are basically over-priced thrift stores that have weeded out the junk, and that’s why I love them. Sometimes it’s no fun to trudge through isles of thrift store crap, and at La Rosa I could pretend that I had come across valuable, one-of-a-kind treasures.

~Got Crabs?—the great motto of Joe’s Crab Shack. Love it. I should have bought the T-shirt.

~The 7-Story Macy’s to which I worship each night—it was an amazing seven flights of shoes, jewelry, and apparel. Too bad my Macy’s card was almost maxed. And to think, the Men’s Macys was located across the street in an entirely different building. Seven floors all to myself…Neiman Marcus wasn’t bad either.

Yes, all I did was walk around, shop, and eat. It was a great end to summer. The only downside—we thought that we’d be getting a break from the SoCal heat, and instead the bay area had three record-breaking days of hot weather.