putting my foot down

My friend Michelle has stopped returning my calls. The last time I saw her was about a month ago when I took her out to dinner for her birthday. Not that this matters, but I bought her a gift that I couldn’t afford, along with dinner and champagne. I didn’t really think that anything was wrong with our friendship, but we did discuss her drinking habits and what our other friends had been saying about her. I gave her the benefit of the doubt with her drinking, even though she has two DUIs under her belt and one day in jail and was still getting very fucked up on a weekly basis (although not driving because her license was suspended). So I told her what the other friends said, and she took it as hostile. But I explained my opinion, and clarified that I was worried about her. She didn’t seem to be mad at me, but she hasn’t called me since, and I’ve left over four messages just asking if she’s ok. Our other friends have told me that she is avoiding their calls too, even going so far as to screen for their calls at work and be mysteriously gone from the office.

I always knew that someday Michelle would do this to me, and that’s why I never got too close to her. She has done this to all her friends at one point or another, as I have been witness too. But she was a very cool person to be friends with, and so I’m sad and hurt that it’s probably over. I had even asked her to be a bridesmaid. She is one of those people who can turn her emotions on and off with a switch. She will cry one minute and tell me that she always wants to be friends, and the next minute she will be cold as ice.

But here’s the difference between me and her other friends. Normally, after a period of cutting them off, she calls them back and everything goes back to normal. They resume their friendship and it’s as if nothing happened. Well, that’s not how I am. You’re either my friend or you’re not. You either have the decency to call me and say, “yes, I’m alive, but I need some time alone.” Or you cut me off like I don’t even exist. And here’s the thing—I’m not a possessive friend who only wants to hang out with her and vice versa; I’m totally cool with us remaining friends and hanging out every few weeks or months. But I know Michelle, and I know that right now she’s thinking that she doesn’t need me as a friend, and that I’ve done something to betray her. So fuck her. My mom said that I should give her time; she’s going through something. I don’t care! I don’t have time to wait until she’s ready to call me and be my friend and let me know that she’s ok. And that’s why this whole situation is somewhat of a relief. Because this has been hanging over my head ever since we became friends and now I don’t have to deal with her anymore. True, I will miss her. But I disagree with how she treats me and I don’t have to put up with it. So Michelle, the next time you call me, if you don’t have a serious excuse for this bullshit, I will happily tell you to fuck off.