Seven things NOT to say to your Girlfriend (or a Girl that you are trying to hit on):

7) Did you just drop a bomb? (translation: Did you just fart?)
6) Oh look, my cat's eyes are bluer than yours!
5) No matter what I eat I just can't gain weight!
4) No offense, but you really need a tan.
3) No offense, but [insert pretty much any phrase].
2) Are your boobs getting smaller?
1) How's that diet going?

(Yes, these are actual statements directed towards me by the opposite sex)