Monday, December 19, 2005

Going somewhere but not here

I haven't been in the mood to write lately, despite the fact that I've been quite overwhelmed in the last few months.

Married life is really not that exciting. I feel good about my relationship, but there haven't been any earth-shattering changes. Rather than giving in to post-wedding blues, I have thrown myself into several tasks. Things are just as busy, if not busier, than my wedding planning days. That's a good thing-- because it keeps me from getting depressed. But I've also been stressed out as of late...and sometimes that causes me to lash out at my husband. I am trying very hard not to take out my emotions on him, because he really hasn't done anything to deserve it.

The holidays have been nice so far. I've gone to about 3 Christmas parties, and most of my shopping is done. This year money is tight...but I have a huge surprise planned for my husband. My excitement has given way to financial stress, but there's no turning back now.

I'm applying to Boston University this year where I hope to get my Master's in Advertising. I don't know what I'll do if I actually get accepted. The cost of moving and paying tuition makes this goal seem very far-fetched. But I know that if I didn't apply and at least find out if the possibility exists, I would have always regretted it. I am not happy with my current job, and it doesn't look like there's much else out there unless I continue my education. And honestly, I miss school. Without that constant stimulation I get bored very easily. If I do get accepted, I might be able to work it out IF I can pay off my credit card debt in the next year. That would definitely require a weekend job and a big change in my spending habits. My husband supports the move, so that is good to know. He hates his job anyways. And we both would love the chance to experience new things by moving somewhere else for a while.

My parents are getting re-married for the third time in Las Vegas for New Years weekend. I am looking forward to the trip, but there are still lingering doubts about whether or not their marriage is a good idea. I can see them falling back into their old patterns of behavior. Maybe they have just learned to accept their relationship for what it is. Or maybe they have forgotten how unhappy they both were. I'll be wishing them happiness either way.

 
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