your love can't pay my bills

I haven't had much time to write lately because I've started my new job, and oh yeah, my home computer crashed. Being neurotic is mentally exhausting, particularly when entering new social situations such as an unfamiliar workplace. I constantly doubt my thoughts, actions, and every little human interaction of the day, until I can get in my car and drive home for 90 minutes. During the commute I proceed to over-analyze and regret several things that occured. I arrive home in a dispicable mood, which does not bode well for my affectionate fiance. Hopefully I will get past this initial phase in the next week or so and become comfortable with my new job. I wish my colleagues were a bit more friendly...but I can get over that. It's better not to be distracted with friendships at work anyways because it always leads to awkward conflicts.

I recently found out that my half sister is going to be coming into an extremely large amount of money. Her boyfriend is part of a court case that involves a multi-million dollar settlement, and they will have the money and be married by the end of the year. I am very happy for her, but worried too. I hope her boyfriend doesn't abandon her once he receives his money; and I hope that once they both get it they won't fall back into their old drug habits (they met in rehab). All bad thoughts aside, I am truly happy for her. Her life has been filled with poverty and sorrow, and she deserves some relief. I must admit that it is strange to know that a family member is going to be so well off...I'm not close to her, and I can't help but wonder if things would be different if I was. If that makes me a bad person, oh well. I'm only being honest, and I guess my mind is always wondering about what it would be like to have money.